A big thanks to TwinBuilder for helping out with the dialogue in this update. I hope you enjoy what we've written!
RazorTyphoon said:
``FINALLY, you stayed still for 1 second, now lets make it 10 seconds.``
[Action]
If Aspera managed to escape his grip, Pylog would just grab him again, but otherwise, he would tighten the grip, his plan isn't to attack Aspera, but to ensure others can attack him easily.
``If there's one thing I hate, its when you mess with the fog.``
A bunch of the hands would appear surrounding the two, if Aspera would had escaped, the hand would just grab him tightly.
[Charge]
The Fog's Creation - 5/33
You're upset with me for removing your fog?
Why don't I just put it back, then?
Aspera swings his sword, breaking your grip on him and unleashing a torrent of fog! Unlike the fog you released last turn, you can't see through it! Aspera escapes in the chaos.
JOEbobobob said:
John Phoenix smirked. So the narration thought His plans were impossible for Him to do alone? That was amusing, since He'd already thought of no fewer than three ways to achieve them. But that made sense, because John Phoenix's IQ was in the range of intelligence that was said to be theMOSTIMPRORTANT P[ART OF THE CKAEISNMAKING PROCESS; BEYCAISE ANIMALS ARE REALY BANDK AT MAKKING CAKES EVNE IF YOU CGIVE THEM ALL THEUINGREDIENTS ANYWAHYWA WHERE WASME. UHHM. THE SITUOAITN WASNM'T VERY GIOD FOR CAKING. WATER DYRING KT HE BAKING MAKES THIGNS SOGGY. A;LOSY, NO INGIRENDEITNS. BUTLUCKILY, A BAUICASC CAKE ONLY NEDEDE A FIEW EINGREDIENTS! FLORU OA ND WATER AND SALT. ALOS SUGRA. EVYERTING ELSE IS OPTIOMALN, AND THERE'S ALL OF HTUESE THINGS HERE RIHGTI NOW! FLOUR THEIR IS IN THE CHEJSE PIZZA (PIZZLA.S/ ARE LIKE INFIEROR CKAES, SO AM HAURVEST THE BITS THAT FEL L OF LAST ROUND WHEN WASN;T.
WATUERI IS A SIMPEL THINGM TO GET, WE'RE IUNMDIERWATER. TAKE WATER.SO LVE.D
SALT ALSO ISMPEL, BECUASE THE WA.TER IS SEAWATER WHICJMKEANS SALTWATER.
NOWN THERE;S ONLY ONE OMROE THING TO GET: SUGAR. AND HTNEBAKING THINGS OF COIUFRSE BUT THAT'S NOTHIGN S[PECIAL. WHERE T GET SUGAR? WEL; THERE'S ONEMP LACE THAT THERE'S DEFNITELY SUGAR: HUMAN BLOOD. UNLESS THEP ERSON HAS DIABETEIS AND IS IN A COMMA ,BUT ALL THE HUMANS AREOUND AREN'T IN COMMAS UNLESLS AM MISISNG SOME. AMND ALOS ITS HARID T O TELL WHOSE' HUMAN, EXCEPT ME AND THE CYBCLOPS PERSON, BTU CAN'T SEJ IMY OWN BLOOD SUGKAR, NEED THAT FOR ENEGRY FOR BAKING.SO HWOTO TAKIE SUGAR FROMK BLOOD OF YCLOPS?? TO DO THAT NMEMD TO TAKE LBOOD FORM CYCLOPS. TO DO THAT,N EED TO BREAK CYCLOPS SKINM? NO. JUST TAKE BLOOD. SKIN NOT IMRPOTNAT. OKAY OKAY GREAT PLAN, DOES WALK UP TO CYCLOPS, AND THEN, STEAL BLOOD. AM VERY GOOD PICKPOTCKET, LEARNED ITFOR INGREDIENTS GETTIMG IN KTICHENS. TRICK VYER SIMPLE, JUST NED TO LOOK VERY STUPID AND NOT AT ALL LIKE THIEF, AND THEN, NEED TO MOVE SO FAST THEY CNA'T FIEL IT. TO LOK STOPUD, JUST SAY THIS TO ASPERA(CICLOPS): "HELLO IA MLOOKING KFOR SUGGAR TOM KAE CAKE, CNA SHARE AKE CAFTER MAKE IF OY WANT. DOY OU KNMOW WHERE TO FIND USGKAR, YOI SEEM VERY SMARET, LIKE BE[PERSON WHO KNOWS WHERIE TO FIND SUEKLRGAR." AND TJEMNRKEN MAKE FACE OF REALISATION AND LOOK AAWAY AT ENGLISH MUFFIN PERSONM & SAY "WAIT, IS HTAMT UFFIN. MUFFINS ARE LKE INFERIOR MSALL CAKES, ANDK FUL OF SUKGA.R ALRIGHJT AM GETCKESUGAR FROM MUFFIN". THE STEALING MOMENHT IS EITHER 'YOI SEEM VERY SMARET' OR 'MUFFINS ARE LKE INFERIOR MSALL CAKES', PORBALY. DO THE STEAL AT STELAING MOMENT, WHEN ASPERA HTINK TOO STPID TO STEAL. THEN USE BLOOD FOR SUGKAR TO MAKE CAKE, VERY SIMPLE.[(Too Long / Too Poorly-spelled);dr: Cake Guy harvests flour from the cheese pizza, water and salt from the Sunken weather effect, and sugar from Aspera's bloodstream. To steal the blood from Aspera to extract sugar from, Cake Guy walks up to Aspera and, in classic Cake guy poor grammer, says they're looking for sugar, offers to share the cake, and asks where to find sugar because surely aspera is smart and knows. Cake Guy then looks at the english muffin and says 'wait, that's a muffin, which is a small cake full of sugar. I'll get sugar from the muffin'. At some point during this(this being an intentional performance of stupidity to lower Aspera's guard and seem like not-a-pickpocket), Cake Guy pickpockets Aspera's blood, through their skin (somehow), very very fast.
(and then Cake Guy makes a cake using the sugar from the blood, and the other ingredients.)]
then-30/30 Unnamed Charge - Using
"PowerCapacitor.Module is at capacity. Expending..."
"Error: No Allocation slotted. User, Provide Allocation."
OOAHB MKAEI T CA---
"Error: ActiveCharacter.CAKE Authority<0.51. Checking stored Characters in Characters..."
"Error: No Character in Characters with Authority<0.51. attempting unification..."
"Error: Unification failed. attempting voting procedures..."
"Error: ActiveCharacter.CAKE && StoredCharacter.MOTH will not process voting procedures at fidelity. Searching for alternate governance systems..."
"Generating new Character 'Administrator'."
"Set StoredCharacter.Administrator Authority==0.99"
"Forbid Action (Administrator.DelCharacter())"
"Administrator, provide Allocation."
Allocation Proposal: VariableSidekickEntityProtocol.
Proposal implemented.
VariableSidekickEntityProtocol: "half of energy allocated to [Durability]. Remainder allocated to Entity Capabilities, with the capability in question being on a loop through these four options matching the current character timeshare pattern.
ModeCG - Cake Guy's Cake - Visual: Medium-Sized Cake. Capabilities: Adventurer-Facsimile actions, Cake-flavor only.
ModeMP - Moth Paladin Novice - Visual: Moth Paladin. Capabilities: EXPLOSION TAG creation(tags persist regardless of mode), basic attack or healing.
ModeJB - Pizzasmcpizzas Storefront - Visual: Pizzasmcpizzas Storefront. Capabilities: Summon Sentient Pizza(failure rate acceptable).
ModeJP - John Phoenix's Eyebrows - Visual: Eyebrows. Capabilities: Support John Phoenix's actions via stating His name(Eyebrow-support retains partial functionality even if ordinary repetition is ineffective.) .(+1 to whoever +1's me, or else to Dragonwolf.)
Aspera maintains his guard until you leave, at which point he drops his guard long enough that you pickpocket his blood! Such master thievery would make someone I know very proud... Aspera takes 1 damage!
Variable Entity summoned!
DragonAegis said:
[Machinery 4/10] +1 to the Testificate
Tom Sawyer uses their 5,000 damage coupon on the Sentient Cheese Pizza to frighten it to their side!
Tom Sawyer then takes an Ironclaw Thwacker and splits it in half with their sawhead.
Now it's an Ironclaw and a Thwacker.
Tom Sawyer then uses blunt force to turn either one of them into a dead object that can be equipped.
You give the Testificate a +1! The Testificate gives you a molotov co*cktail, which explodes in your hands and destroys your 5,000 Damage Coupon!
You split an Ironclaw Thwacker into an Ironclaw and a Thwacker! You then try to turn the Ironclaw into equipment... but you fail to make anything from it. The Thwacker is left behind, much weaker!
Spacelover1 said:
(RPGM)
[AG]
Upon seeing the Adventures struggling with a creature called a 'Godmodder', Kita rushes over to help them. Runes surround her hands, and as said runes spin, she sends MANY Revolution Flames towards Aspera. "Hopefully, this'll do some damage..." she mutters.
Aspera effortlessly absorbs every single Revolution Flame into his sword!
Too easy.
You Adventurers ought to learn some new tricks. You're getting predictable.
Robot # 207 said:
The Tank Charges at Aspera, It continues firing many Machine guns, then it makes a Giant Drill that it rams at Aspera, with this distraction it Then grows a manipulator to slice a Circular Saw at Aspera, after the Saw The Tank fires an acid canister at Aspera, followed by another Explosive round, and finally it fires a Flamethrower at Aspera
[Unnamed Light Class 6/5] --> [Fast Buggy 6/6]
The Tank has finished designing and building its new unit, and ejects another Block from its back, this Cab Block builds itself into a Fast evasive Buggy, stat focus is Evasion and Attack, with less in HP and some minor Regen (Planning to have pretty much everything i make have at least some regen) After finishing its wheels The Buggy moves and targets an Ironclaw Thwacker[Unnamed Medium Class 0/10]
+1 Charge to JOE, and thus +1 to the Medium
Aspera conjures a magic shield to block the machine guns! He leaps into the air and hovers over the giant drill! He counters the saw with his sword, which breaks the saw with minimal effort! The acid canister, explosive round, and flamethrower are all swept up by Aspera unleashing a gust of wind from his sword!
You're giving me a bit of a workout now... but you're still predictable.
Heh. Not that it's going to matter soon.
Buggy summoned!
Dinfinity said:
out of the destruction, appears a short little cat school boy, his name is wafer , with his tiny sweater and big bag filled with books, something unusual is that he is somewhat aware of the fourth wall and grabs/ copies a little Neutrality marker for himself
action: the school boy grabs from his bag a giant book and a brush, the brush is his magic wand for he goes to magic schoolOkay, Page 1200, chapter 2, earth magic lets see*flips through pages*
earth armour, no
Earth element enchantments, maybe later
Aha, here it is, the basic elemental earth spells section, earth manipulation sub-section, page 1376, Form Chair and Deskwafer grasps his brush wand and creates strokes in the aair beutifully and with grace, a chair and desk is formed from nearby earth element items, he places a pillow on the seat and starts reading the book 'a drop of ink in the sea of magic, the basics of elemental inkantations' one of 413 books needed to even graduate the Ka-Why-Ee academy for magics inkantation course. he is of course self studying while the school is being rebuilt after a chocolate shop crashed into it when aspera fused the dimensions together.
the charge begins 1/10 for tutor arriving
the charge shall be the most studious active player who is not wafer(Me IC)
Welcome to the game! I should warn you in advance that although fourth wall breaking characters are allowed, the real world does not canonically exist in this game.
You study up on magic! Your next action will be more effective!
~~~
Controller © tries to take control of the Thwacker, but fails to get a good grip!
The Crewmate performs a bio-scan in an attempt to heal itself! It heals 5,000 HP! The Variable Entity takes the form of Cake Guy's Cake! Cake Guy's Cake summons a Store-Bought Cake! The Buggy attacks the Thwacker, dealing 1,000 damage!
The Planning Room heals 5,000 HP from Cyber Security! The Sentient Pizza attacks the Crewmate, dealing 2,500 damage! The Ironclaw Thwacker attacks the Buggy and misses! The Thwacker attacks the Buggy and misses!
The Healing Rain Cloud heals the Crewmate by 1,500 HP!
~~~
As the fight slowly winds down, the walls of fire surrounding the room die out. Aspera's upper circle emerges from the flames. TRAGEDY's cloaked form approaches Aspera, holding a small stone.
TRAGEDY: THE LAST PIECE.
Excellent. The time has come then, to end this charade.
Aspera turns to the assembled Adventurers.
I've figured out how to beat you, once and for all.
I know where you came from. You're here because of the Update Terminal.
A little piece of machinery that ensures every Godmodder will eventually die.
Aspera grins, and it is a frightening grin. The assembled Adventurers move to attack Aspera again, but a wall of fire erupts between them and Aspera, knocking them back!
TRAGEDY: YOUR RECKONING SHALL NOT BE POSTPONED.
Aspera laughs.
Of course, an Update Terminal is nothing without someone operating it.
If the author dies, the story ends.
You'll all just sit there, unable to act against me, as I reign over my new world.
Aspera places the small stone into a hole in the floor. As it slides into place, the entire temple seems to shake. When it stops shaking, a mirror has manifested in the center of the room. Rather than reflecting the room, it is entirely black. Pylog feels a glimmer of recognition upon seeing it.
The solution, then, is simple.
Kill the author.
Aspera approaches the mirror and presses a hand to it. The orchid fire in his eye surges with immense power, and the mirror's surface ripples as the reflection within begins to change.
As Aspera steps away from the mirror, the other side becomes visible. Most of the mirror is still a black abyss, but within the abyss, a pipe organ can be seen with a monitor on it. A young man in a dark shirt with a white lab coat tied around his waist is playing a dramatic melody when he turns and looks at the mirror.
He recoils upon seeing Aspera, who, eye glowing with primal fury, launches his sword through the mirror at the man playing the organ. There is a dissonant chord as the sword halts in place, twitching slightly, as if caught on invisible springs. The man at the organ plays an arpeggio in a minor key, and the sword slowly turns around. Then, with another dissonant chord, the sword flies out at high speeds at Aspera. He quickly dodges, and the sword forcefully lodges itself into the nearby wall. Aspera runs after it and struggles to pull it from the stone.
Don't just stand there! KILL HIM!
Aspera's upper circle moves toward the mirror, save for TRAGEDY, who simply stares at Aspera. The man at the organ plays a single low note, and the mirror clouds over just as King Dedede hits it with his hammer. As it does, the fires summoned by TRAGEDY die down and fade away.
King Dedede: Dangit! He got away!
Imbeciles! Get out of the way, I'll bring him back.
The Doctor: ...Aspera. Something else is appearing in the mirror.
Aspera freezes and looks back at the mirror, turning away from his sword, which is still lodged in the wall. The layer of darkness over the mirror seems to fade as the other side comes into view. It's much like a natural reflection, but the temple walls on the other side have different writing. The reflection, still cloudy, makes it illegible. Aspera approaches the mirror, glaring into it with his single good eye. As he approaches, the reflection sharpens. The room on the other side of the mirror, however, is empty.
...What is the meaning of this?
The mirror suddenly swivels around, the reflective side seeming to bend space to turn away from everyone at once. When it turns back, there's someone in the mirror. He resembles Aspera, but his hair, skin, and even armor are various shades of blue, and Aspera's hard stare has been swapped out for an amused half-grin. The visible teeth are a putrid black color. Contrasting Aspera's lack of eyewear, the reflection wears… a pair of blue shades.
I could ask you the same question, Asperrrrrrra.
Aspera recoils on hearing his reflection's voice. Somehow, the sound of its words seems more real than Aspera's own voice does.
You're the one who guards this mirror, then?
If you know what's good for you, you'll get out of my way. You'd hardly be the first person I've cut to pieces.
The reflection's eyes aren't visible, but he seems to tilt his head so that instead of looking at Aspera, he looks past him and at the wall.
Rrrrrrreally? I'd love to see you do it without that sword.That'd be pret-ty impressive, I'd say. I do say. Yes.
Don't try my patience, apparition.Apparition. Apparition? Are you serious? Do you even hear yourself right now?
The reflection walks away from the mirror, shaking his head. He keeps muttering the word "apparition" to himself and softly cackling. The group has to strain to hear it, but the laughter has a weird quality to it. It takes a bit too long before they realize it's looping, as though it's mechanical. Aspera grits his teeth and clenches his fists. He extends a hand toward the wall where his sword is buried. With a resounding noise, the sword flies from the wall and, assisted by magic, lands in his outstretched hand. With one hand, he points the sword at the mirror. The reflection stops pacing and turns back to look at Aspera.
Enough games. Who are you, to defy my will?Heheheh… Heh. Well, I suppose it's only fair I tell you. After all, all of you are finally here. You've waited long enough. You've fought, and bickered, and waited. What's the point of waiting? Why can't you just get what you want rrrrrrright NOW?
The reflection rushes to the mirror, banging his fists against the glass once. There's a sharp, ear-splitting sound, and some of the group instinctively clasp their hands over their ears or equivalent. Aspera recoils as the noise washes over him. The reflection's posture is stiff. He seems taller now, like he's trying his best to loom over Aspera.
You may call me the Great Enemy, if you'd like. That's one thing you could do. Another thing you could do is turn all of your bones into taffy, so. That option's open. Just trying to suggest some alterrrrrrrnatives.
I told you enough games!And I asked you if you could hear yourself right now! Enough games?? Buddy, Aspera, wh, where do you think you are? What do you think this is?!No. No, there will always be games. The players can change, the rules can change, the canon can change… But there will always be games. And games need enemies just as much as they need masters. So, here I am!
The reflection's half-grin intensifies into a proper smile, giving Aspera a great look at his pearly blacks. Almost on reflex, Aspera's own grimace intensifies to match.
I am the spanner in hte works. The flaw in your code. The poop that you can't quite flush....Hmm. Is this too much?
The mirror turns to the Adventurers - but the reflection within has changed. Rather than taking the form of Aspera, the thing on the other side of the mirror has taken the form of Ian, with a foggy form behind him. The form is too blurry to identify, but it looks like Ignition or Tskaze. It gives the group chills if they look at it too closely.
Am I being too silly? Guys, what do you think, back me up here. Should I reign it in?I mean, I don't want you to think I'm not important. That I don't have things to say. Really, I'll be the best thing that's happened to you since atom-thin sliced brrrrrrread! It's just…I need you to be earnest with me. We've gotta get a dialogue going. I want to see what makes you tick. Why you're here, what you do, what you love. You're all so inspiring…!
The face of Ian sloughs off the reflection, melting like wax. Now, the thing behind the mirror looks like the Doctor, and he speaks to match.
You're all so sweet I could puke.
The mirror suddenly swivels around as Spamton approaches with a socket wrench.
Spamton: WOULGE YOU [Quit?] SCARING THE [customers] YOU MYSTERIOUS [It looks exactly like me!]?
Spamton: D ON'T make me [It's over, Anakin! I have the high ground!]
The reflection frowns, speaking with a disturbing flatness.
You don't actually think that's going to work, do you.
Spamton: THIS [Machine for Pigs] WILL [Destroy! Build! Destroy!] ANythING WHEN [Apply directly to the forehead!]Wow. Anything. Okay then, Misterrrrrrr Big Shot.Show me.
Spamton: [Jenny, you might not think so yet, but this is a big deal!]
Spamton raises the socket wrench and, cackling with fury, strikes the mirror. The entire mirror rings like a bell, and the reflection within seems visibly rattled, its form seeming to fluctuate and shift like putty.
Hgh, o-ow… How did you… Nghh, ghgk—
There's a tense silence for a few seconds as the reflection writhes in pain, and then it abruptly stops. Its form shifts again, shrinking and twisting, resembling Spamton. Static blares in his glasses as he extends an arm forward. Then, he says a word. At least, the whole group thinks he says a word. The truth is, they don't hear anyone in particular say it. It just appears in their heads, fully formed, regardless of any mouth or ear - as if hammered into reality itself.
POOP.
There is a deafening noise and a rush of wind as Spamton is knocked backwards, skidding across the ground and colliding, upside-down, with the wall. He recovers quickly, but then he turns to look at the socket wrench, which now sits uselessly on the ground. It withers before his eyes, already mottled and covered with grime. Spamton rushes to the wrench, but before he can make it, it turns into dust.
Spamton: [My net worth!] YOU [Nice Job Breaking It, Hero!] MY FAVORITE WRENCH!
The reflection laughs, and its voice matches Spamton's own.
HEHEHEAHAHE!!! BUDDY IF THAT WAS YOUR [[Top-Shelf Highest-Quality Product]] THEN IM SORRIE [[For Party Rocking]] AND I'LL BE FRRRRRRRANK:YOU WOULDN[T KNOW [[AQAP]] IF IT REACHED DOWN YOUR [[throat]] AND [[rearranged the furniture in there]]! GET OFF THE STAGE, MY FABULOUS ME! G[[Get off! It hurts! It hurts so much! Oh, help me please, O]]A ND YOU KN0W WHAT?? IT"S [[Just like my mothah always used ta say…]] WHEN [[The Game Of Life]] GIVES YOU A LITTLE [[Lemon Bread]] SOMETIMES U [[Gotta Feeling]] OF [[RIP AND TEAR]] & [[Beat OFF]] AND [[Play that thing again!]] UNTIL YOU [[have what it takes… to destroy]] EVERRRRRRRYTHING THAT HAS EVER WRONGED YOU!!![[Everything that has ever wronged you!!!]][[Everything]] [[Everything]] [[Everything]] [[Everything]] [[Everything]] [[Everything]] [[Everything]] [[Everything]] [[Everything]] [[Everything]] [[Everything]] [[Everything]] [[Everything]] [[Everything]] [[Everything]] [[Everything]] [[Everything]] -
Aspera slams his free hand into the mirror, which spins over and over on itself hundreds of times. Eventually, it comes to a stop in front of Aspera, but the reflection within continues bouncing around like a superball.
This little conversation of ours has gone on long enough.
Your antics have been thoroughly unamusing, and I'm not at all sorry to be done with you.
The reflection ceases bouncing as Aspera approaches. His form seems to have settled to match Aspera's once more.
I'm going to say it one more time…
Aspera slams the tip of his sword into the mirror, and drives it halfway in. The mirror fractures around the point of entry. The sword, despite being longer than the mirror is wide, does not come out the mirror's other side.
Get. Out. Of. My. Way.
The reflection tilts his head quizzically. The sword isn't visible in the mirror, and the reflection suffers no wounds. Yet he extends a finger again, touching the exact spot where the sword is driven through, and Aspera jolts as though he can feel the reflection's touch through the mirror. His eyes dart to his sword briefly before looking back at the reflection.
Despite Aspera averting his eyes only slightly, the reflection has changed significantly. It looks like a stick figure with boots, gloves, disembodied eyebrows, and very long eyes. One would think it'd be hard to make a stick figure look disheveled and weird, but the reflection manages it.
I'm afraid I can't do that, Aspera. We need to have a talk. A real talk.A talk about why, precisely, it is that I can't get out of your way.Well, I could if I wanted to. But I don't want to. I want to be here, I want to see you. And that's the problem, that's why the game is afoot.You've let me in.
The reflection's form begins shifting again, and the fractured mirror repairs itself. Aspera's sword starts being pulled further into the mirror, slowly but surely. Aspera pulls against it, but the sword's trajectory remains unaltered. When the reflection settles again, he resembles someone no one in the room has ever seen before - a man made of cubes, with a tattered cape, a shaggy beard, and faded clothes. His left arm glows and pulses in the dim room.
Take it from me, punk. From someone who's been around the block twice or thrrrrrrrice. It's alright to rest on your laurels when you're unanchored from canon - when no stories matter, and the only gateway into the world is in the shades on your face.But someone like you? The protagonist of your own adventure? You can't let anyone take that title away from you. You can't let yourself be upstaged, even for a moment, because if you do…Then everything you've ever worked for turns to dust. All your powers, all your motives, all your words - they might still exist, but they'll serve no purpose.Too many times, I've seen would-be conquerors fall on their own swords because some terrifying existential threat came from out of nowhere. They were forced to ally with the "good guys," forced to play second fiddle to their own war.
To say the reflection "grimaces" would be to sell it short. Faces of anguish and torment manifest on his face for moments at a time, each one shifting to become worse than the last, finding newer, worse ways to express white-hot rage. And then his form fades away entirely, becoming something… else. The form is familiar - he resembles the young man who was sitting at the organ. As a stark contrast to the reflection's other forms, although most of the reflection is blue, one part stands out. The lab coat tied around his waist is not blue. It is white. Pure, blinding, ineffable white.
And that is why I can't get out of your way.You've been upstaged twice now in a short span of time. First by Silas, an ordinary joe who managed to deal more damage to you in one hit than any Adventurer, and now by me.You gave Silas exactly what he wanted - a temper tantrum. You made it very evident that he got to you. And now you're starting to do the same with me.If you let me finish upstaging you, things only get worse. My advice? Walk away now. Pursue your other options for survival, because this one isn't going to open to you.The best way to salvage your story is to declare that I'm not worth your time... and leave.
Aspera pulls on the sword once again, and this time it comes free. The reflection's expression is entirely neutral and unreadable. Aspera turns away... but pauses.
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
Before the reflection can speak again, Aspera swings his sword at a blinding speed. A cutting magic within the sword is unleashed, extending its range dramatically. The mirror, as well as Spamton, who was standing behind it, are sliced cleanly in half. Spamton quickly sticks back together, but he screams. It sounds like the world's loudest dial-up modem.
Spamton: [My leg!!!]
Spamton: I WASN'T [[completely expected!]] THE BLADE OF [Call Me Maybe] to be SO PAIN !
Aspera looks at the two halves of the mirror. The reflection is unmoving, a look of genuine shock frozen on his face.
Hmph. I knew he wasn't all he claimed to be.
Aspera turns back toward his upper circle.
TRAGEDY and Norm, take these broken pieces to the Uberdungeon.
With the mirror's guardian disposed of, we'll take another shot away from prying eyes.
Norm: It would be my pleasure!
TRAGEDY: ...
As Norm approaches the mirror, he reaches out to touch one of the pieces when he stops. His body twitches back and forth a bit, and then his head flies off in a dramatic burst of electricity, followed shortly after by a squirrel from Norm's chest. Aspera catches Norm's severed head and the squirrel as Norm's body is crumpled like a tin can.
Wha—!?
The two pieces of the mirror begin twitching, before sliding back into position in the center of the room. The seam running from the top of the mirror to the bottom fades away. The reflection's calm demeanor has disappeared, and his head is askew. His smile violates Euclidean geometry, with the tips of it stretching up to the edges of his eyes.
Well, now nobody can say I didn't trrrrrrry.You really haven't tuned your danger sense, have you, Aspera? Considering you couldn't tell before now that I was a genuine threat to your story. After I warned you about it, no less!
As the reflection speaks, his form contorts, with sickening crunching noises as his shape changes. His face becomes more serpentine, with glowing symbols of a one and a zero imprinting themselves on his blue shades. His arms grow progressively longer, contorting to keep his hands visible.
I suppose I can't really blame you for not being on the lookout for these kinds of things. After all, you haven't even featured in a sequel yet.
Aspera remains in front of the mirror, frozen in some unholy combination of fury and terror. The reflection's form now looks more like a gigantic snake than it looks like a person, and it continues to become more exaggerated. The reflection's grin loops around itself to form an unholy ring of teeth. Then, all at once, it stops.
So allow me to fast-track your lessons.
Aspera's eye is probably wider than it's ever been, a single bead of sweat dripping down his face, but even he can't keep his eye open forever. He blinks. He blinks, just once, and the serpentine shape disappears completely, leaving the empty room once more. He blinks again, stepping, tentatively, closer to the mirror, until he sees a stout figure manifest itself from the swirling fog inside. He blinks again. The reflection stares up at him in the shape of Garfield, some sort of popsicle in his left hand.
...Wanna know what happens when a Godmodder stops making frozen pudding pops?
There is a very tense silence. Aspera just looks forward, unmoving. The reflection lifts his single free arm, withered until nearly unrecognizable, and takes off his sunglasses at long last. The group's collective hearts nearly stop. Where the reflection's eyes should be, there are two turbulent pits of inky darkness - literally inky, the blackness dripping and staining and spewing outwards, turning the reflection into a mimicry of its former selves. The darkness seems to expand and swallow up the vision of everyone in the group with its sheer depth.
They disappear.
Aspera, finally snapping out of his stupor, lets out a cry of war. The orchid fire in his eye blazes with a righteous fury. Wasting no time, he freezes in his tracks as the fire in his missing eye goes out entirely. He collapses to the floor, screaming in pain and hacking up piles of black goo. He cannot even muster the strength to pick up his sword.
I… I will not be defeated by the likes of you!That beat-up, rrrrrrramshackle dinghy has long sailed, Jon. You're in my world now.
The reflection smiles once more as his features seem to fold in on themselves. His withered body peels away in fractalline shapes, revealing a sinister-looking form underneath, with slicked-back hair and a suit with a pinstripe vest and pants. The blackness dripping from his eyes pours out in a torrent of darkness. Another pair of words is hammered into reality.
NUMBER ONE.
Even though the reflection never leaves the mirror, the darkness swirling on the other side begins to manifest in the physical world. An unearthly fog covers the floor, making it hard for the group to keep their footing. Aspera stumbles, seemingly shaken as the darkness pours into the room. Just as he seems to regain his bearings, he jerks forward, and is hoisted up in the air. He struggles fruitlessly - someone, or something, has a hold on him.
The group watches in shock as the darkness coagulates around Aspera, forming the unmistakable image of a massive, gnarled, dripping hand. In one fluid motion, it pinches its index finger and thumb together and thrusts them into Aspera's chest as though it was made of liquid. He howls for a moment, the darkness trembling with his voice. There's so much ink blocking out the room that it's hard to tell what's happening… But the more the group watches, the more they can see different tints of black. Not just very dark colors of the rainbow, but actual shades of black. The world turns upside-down, and—
1 damage to the Godmodder!
—Aspera tumbles to the ground in a heap, heaving for breath. The hand stays in the air, and it's clear that it's holding something between those pinched fingers. It's a glowing black Γ. As the hand twists it around, the reflection starts to laugh. A full, unrestrained, raucous laugh, starting in the gut until it spills in all directions. After a point, no one can tell if the reflection is laughing or screaming.
Well! That went well.
As though a light-switch was flipped, the darkness disappears. The room returns to normal, and the Γ falls to the ground, right next to Aspera. Aspera, still weak, reaches for it, but it slides across the floor via some intangible force, careening for the mirror, and then it sticks itself to the mirror's surface. The reflection looks different, now. He looks like a teenager with a blue hoodie. His shades are back on.
I have a theory. Would you like to hear it?I hypothesize that you can't be a Godmodder unless you've summoned a dragon.Dragons are cool, aren't they? Everybody loves them. They're an archetypical monster, a de facto beast to conquer. They're intertwined with storytelling itself.Oh, how I absolutely loathe them.
The reflection smiles, and for the first time, it seems genuine.
I hope you'll hate them, too!
As if on cue, the mirror shatters along the seam where Aspera cut it in half. An indigo light shines from the cracks as the fracture gets wider. The Γ is sucked into the crack as a pair of clawed hands grasp the edges of the fracture, trying to tear the mirror open. The fracture widens further as the dragon within emerges. Its scales are the same indigo of the fracture. As it exits further, it becomes apparent that it's no ordinary dragon - it's wearing some form of cybernetic armor, with some sort of boosters in the place of its wings, keeping it airborne. The Γ has cemented itself upon the dragon's forehead, glowing with contempt.
As the dragon finishes exiting the mirror, the fracture slowly repairs itself. The dragon itself is clearly much too large to have come through the mirror, and yet the mirror's frame remains unscathed. The refection remains on the other side, still smiling, although now a bit more smug.
Mirrorrrrrrr, mirrorrrrrrr, tell me this…Who can stop the AGE OF—
Whatever final word the reflection was about to say is drowned out by an unholy roar from the dragon. Sensing, apparently, that his work is done, the reflection gives the group a bow as the mirror's surface fades once more to black.
Aspera, finally having recovered from the reflection's assault, struggles to his feet. He looks up at the dragon with slight contempt. He looks a lot more beat-down than he did a few minutes ago.
Hmph. I suppose he did end up helping me after all.
I suppose, then, it falls to me to give this thing a name.
…I christen thee the Helkite Overlord.
Aspera turns around and, using his sword, tears open a portal to an unknown location.
To me, my allies. There is much to be done.
...And.. much to think about.
Aspera and his upper circle quickly flee through the portal! The Helkite Overlord approaches the Adventurers with murder in its eyes…
~~~
Itinerary:
AG: Destroy Aspera!
N: Seek out your personal objectives.
PG: Protect Aspera!
All: Find the secrets of the seemingly-sunken temple!
Current environmental factors:
Fire: The nearby area is burning due to lingering fires set by TRAGEDY. Flame-based attacks will be more effective... against entities that aren't immune, anyway.
Wind: Perhaps for dramatic effect, a powerful wind blows through the temple. It could be used advantageously, or serve as an obstacle. All entities have a 10% chance to repeat their action, and a 10% chance to not act at all..
Aspera [GM]: 20/50 HP, Godmodder, off the field!
Battlefield:
Entities:
Helkite Overlord
[H-BOSS-Γ]: HP: 100,000/100,000, Attack: 25,000 AoE, Draconic, Daedric Armor, Sheila, Partially Undead, Dragon Charm, Ravenous, Solid Snake Infusion, Supernatural, Spatial Immunity, Anti-Housing Adaptations, Mech Expertise, Scientifically Provable Beauty, Unflappable, What Even Does Healing Damage Mean?, Conceptual Adaptational ImmunityDraconic: The Helkite Overlord is a dragon, and inherits many of the properties dragons have. It cannot take damage from fire due to breathing fire. It cannot take psychic damage due to being magical in nature. It cannot take damage from blunt objects due to its thick, armored scales. It cannot take poison damage due to a natural resistance to all poisons.
Daedric Armor: The Helkite Overlord is equipped with the finest Daedric armor ever made. The armor is enchanted to prevent all explosive damage. It is equipped with a rubber layer that prevents electric damage. It is equipped with a heater that prevents ice damage. It is equipped with Kevlar that prevents bullet damage.
Sheila: The Helkite Overlord is guarded by Sheila, an advanced A.I. that resides within the Helkite Overlord's armor, with only one purpose: to protect it. It takes no damage from light damage or lasers because Sheila employs reflective plates to reflect all incoming light and energy. It takes no damage from robots, computers, hacking, or A.I. because Sheila is capable of hacking into and negating any mechanical device, and is impossible to hack into. It takes no damage from sound, because Sheila dampens all incoming noise.
Partially Undead: The Helkite Overlord is partially undead. All radiation and nuclear damage will instead heal it.
Dragon Charm: The Helkite Overlord wears a charm that makes it immune to all damage coming from dragons.
Ravenous: The Helkite Overlord can eat an infinite amount of food. All damage based on food or eating will instead heal it.
Solid Snake Infusion: The Helkite Overlord is infused with a fragment of Solid Snake. Because of this, it is incapable of feeling love, and is immune to emotional damage.
Supernatural: In addition to its draconic nature, the Helkite Overlord has additional supernatural properties. It cannot take dark damage due to its infernal nature. It cannot take chemical damage or nature damage due to not operating by standard laws of reality.
Spatial Immunity: The Helkite Overlord originates from a world where space doesn't function in quite the same way. It is immune to antimatter damage, because antimatter doesn't exist where it came from. It is immune to black hole damage, because it is unaffected by the force of gravity. It is immune to any damage related to extraterrestrial space after years of surviving in a similar environment.
Anti-Housing Adaptations: After getting caught up in the Noodle Incident, the Helkite Overlord genetically altered itself to resist certain types of damage that got it caught up in the Noodle Incident in the first place. It isimmune to damage from anything that could feasibly be found in an ordinary house.
Mech Expertise: The Helkite Overlord has an extensive technical knowledge of mechs and mechas. It reduces all damage taken from mechs and mechas by 65%.
Scientifically Provable Beauty: The Helkite Overlord is scientifically proven to be beautiful. As such, it is immune to ugliness damage.
Unflappable: The Helkite Overlord is immune to all damage related to looking at something, simply by virtue of it not caring.
What Even Does Healing Damage Mean?: The Helkite Overlord is smart enough to know that "healing damage" is just healing. All healing damage will instead heal it.
Conceptual Adaptational Immunity: Whenever an attack damages the Helkite Overlord or any of its kin, every one of them becomes immune to the type of damage that was dealt by that attack instantaneously and permanently. As such, the Helkite Overlord has achieved an astounding number of conceptual immunities.
Memes
Being poked in the eye
Octets
Ghosts
Minecraft's Void
Metatextuality
AntiTimers
Dancing
Critical hits of any form
Whales (both kinds)
Auras
Entropy
Water
Anything that would remove its scales
Houses themselves
Time and time manipulation
Nails (both kinds)
Pages (all three kinds)
Blood loss
Tentacles
Necromancy
Turrets
Disintegration
Stone and stones
The teraport
Quantum mechanics
Science
Butts
Spaceships
Smashing (both breaking things and playing Smash)
Any damage to its boosters
Telekinesis
Realism
Cards
Ray guns
De-existence
Frustration
Inconvenience
Halitosis
Irony
Cherry tapping
Art theft
Anything that's impossible to explain
Anything that would be subject to the Curse of Repetitiveness, including the Curse of Repetitiveness itself
The word "dying"
Sickness
Ink
Suffocation
The Wither effect
Heart attacks
Weirdness
Paint chips
Movie awards
Ancient texts
Any country that exists on Earth in 2023
Torture
Animorphs
Giant cows
Termination
Statues
Having its neck snapped
Diamonds
The word "unorthodox"
Exposition
Puns
Bans
Nightmares
Railway stations
Ramps
Triangles
Puzzles
Data storage
Scripts
Oblivion
Grimdark settings
Gold
Plot mandates
Spoilers
Crystallization
Vaporization
Creepiness
Metaphors
Words
Twitching
Confusion
Randomness
All Spoils of War
Psionics
Lapis lazuli
The Red Miles
Rings
Gravity
Superman 64
SHOOP DA WHOOP
The Kamehameha technique
Flawless defeats
Creation
Any red star
Time clones
Rock music
Hoverboards
Old age
Karate
Being barraged
Zapp Brannigan
Rampages
Unoriginality
Fanfiction
Ghostlers
Tubas
The word "damage"
The Illuminati
Coins
Mistranslations
Trash
Paper Cuts
Unemployment
Perfectly generic objects
Sepulchritude
Insanity
The Gremoblin
Every named character in the Lemon Demon song "The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny"
Dodgeballs
Kaleidoscopic fire
Crewmate [JOE Phoenix Cake OF THE MOTHPIRE - AG]: HP: 21,500/25,000, does tasks
Variable Entity [JOE Phoenix Cake OF THE MOTHPIRE - AG]: HP: 75,000/75,000, EXPLOSION TAGS: 0, Current Form: Cake
Cake Guy's Cake: Spawn a Cake entity worth 0.5 Charge.
MOTH PALADIN NOVICE: Generate 8,000 EXPLOSION TAGS. 1,000 Attack. 1,000 Healing.
PizzasMcPizzas Storefront: 30% chance to spawn a Pizza entity worth 1.5 Charge.
John Phoenix's Eyebrows: Sue an entity, inflicting a debuff that reduces one of their stats by 1 Charge and grants that amount of stats to this entity. Can be dispelled with actions. If the entity dies, the boost goes away, but becomes a permanent part of the abilities for this form. No additional abilities (yet).
Store-Bought Cake [JOE Phoenix Cake OF THE MOTHPIRE - AG]: HP: 1,000/1,000, Attack: 1,000
Buggy [Core Block - AG]: HP: 1,000/1,000, Dodge: 90%, Regeneration: 100, Attack: 1,000
Planning Room [Niyr - PG]: HP: 49,400/100,000, Attack: 100, Reaction Fire: 6,250, Armor: 5,000, resets to 0 when taking unblocked damage, Fortify Planning Room: II, Naval Tactics: III, Attack the Objective!: III, Pocket Repair Dimension, Cyber Security, (PAY 5 CHARGE FOR A NEW BATTLE TACTIC)
Fortify Planning Room: Planning Room gains 5,000 Armor. Caps at 50,000. Cap may change at later date.
Naval Tactics: [PG] ships may not be boarded by non-[PG] players the turn after this is used.
Attack the Objective!: [PG] entities' attacks deal 1.2x damage this turn, but may only target entities with 100,000 or more HP.
Pocket Repair Dimension: Activates every turn. Heals up to 10,000 HP to a non-boss [PG] entity, but that entity takes no actions this turn. Cannot self-target.
Cyber Security: Activates every turn. Can either repair the Planning Room, healing 5,000 HP or 5,000 Action Power-worth of sabotage, or deal 2,500 damage to an entity that attacked the Planning Room this turn.
Sentient Cheese Pizza [PG]: HP: 5,000/10,000, Attack: 2,500
Ironclaw Thwacker [PG]: HP: 20,000/20,000, Attack: 5,000
Thwacker [PG]: HP: 4,000/5,000, Attack: 5,000
Testificate [N]: HP: 65,000/65,000, Armor: 6,000, Reaction Fire: 1,000, Trade: Give him +1 charge for something extra strange to happen!
Healing Rain Cloud [Krill13 - N]: HP: 1,000/1,000, Healing: 1,500
Capital ©: HP: 149,000/150,000, Summon Nameless ©: IIIIII, summons a Nameless © with 15 HP and 10,000 Action Power
Controller ©: HP: 5/5, Manipulation: Can take control of another entity's actions for the turn. Likelihood of success depends on action creativity and significance of chosen orders.
Players:
LapisLazuli': Vortex [AG]
Firewing: Just Flask [AG]
Champion Greninjoid: Reese [AG]
Esther: Narrator [AG]
Layn: Layn [AG]
O.R.I.G.I.N.: Decil [AG]
Sylveone46: Cutlass McClaymore [AG]
6FootDeep: Swarm of Zachs [AG]
Zparks: Sblib [N]
Whimsythescholar: The Lady In Violet [N]
Master of Infinity: The Master of the Infinitum [AG]
ChrysalisM: Adaptoid #001 [AG]
little1133: Birdie [AG]
Kitnight: ?
Torix: Firestorm [AG]
W32Coravint: W32Coravint [AG]
Noctis-X: Noctis [AG]
Dragonwolf73: Niyr [PG]
Razor_Typhoon: Pylog [N]
Krill13: [Name Here] [N] (Currently carrying 2 capital "I"s and a 10,000 damage coupon)
Banana-Fish: Pol and Kirby [AG]
Crimtane Shovel: ©
JOEbob: JOE Phoenix Cake OF THE MOTHPIRE [AG]
DragonAegis: Tom Sawyer [N]
Endboi [AG]
King_Fuffy: Olivia Opal [AG]
Robot #207: Core Block [AG]
rush99999: The English Muffin [N]
Spacelover1: Kita [AG]
Dinfinity: Wafer [N]
Dragonwolf73:
Destiny: Mastery of Tactics
High-Conductivity Skin
+ Your action power is doubled!
--- You must give out two charges each turn, and they must both go to [AG] players!
Krill13:
Destiny: Spawn Point
Ocular Implants
+ Your actions have a 50% chance to be 3x as effective!
- All of your actions have their power reduced to 0.5x before all other multipliers!
+ Entities with dodging capabilities cannot dodge your actions!
± This augmentation does not affect attacks against Godmodders.
Monkey Wizard's Staff: +2,000 Action Power
Octopus King's Crown: You are very confident.
Banana-Fish:
Destiny: Bookkeeper
Crimtane Shovel:
Destiny: ©
Understanding the Nameplate: Depth
+ Copies you summon have more interesting and varied abilities!
Razor_Typhoon:
Destiny: Fog Missing Piece
Spoils of War:
Misery: Polar Star. Owner: None [AG]. A strange gun, with two scratches embedded into it. It looks like it gets stronger if used carefully. Once every 3 turns, it can be used to deal 1,000, 2,500, or 5,000 damage, depending on its current level. The level goes up when PG entities die or the Godmodder takes damage, and it goes down when AG entities die. Level: 3, Cooldown: III
The Teletubbies: Tubby Custard Machine. Owner: Pol and Kirby [AG]. A whimsical machine with two large spires for storing Tubby Custard. Once every 4 turns, it can be used to heal 5,000 HP to any entity. This healing can bring entities over their max HP, if they're not already above their max HP. Additionally, the Tubby Custard Key may be used one time to revive any entity that died the preceding turn, with full HP. THE TUBBY CUSTARD KEY MAY ONLY BE USED ONCE THROUGH THE ENTIRE GAME. Cooldown: IIII. Tubby Custard Key: Available
Fortegreen Crewmate: Emergency Meeting Button. Owner: JOE Phoenix Cake OF THE MOTHPIRE [AG]. A red button that can be used to assemble everyone in the area. Once every 5 turns, it can be used to summon a Crewmate, who the owner will be able to direct to various tasks. Its effectiveness will vary. Cooldown: IIIII
Kabula: Kabula Cannon. Owner: None [AG]. A large, somewhat unwieldy cannon that fires three shots at once. Once every 5 turns, it can be used to deal 10,000 damage to three different entities. For the purposes of this Spoil, Crowd entities are counted as a single entity. Cooldown: IIIII
Cyber End*r Dr*gon: Cyber Dr*gon Egg. Owner: Niyr [PG]. Somehow, turning the End*r Dr*gon into a technological terror passed the property on to this egg. The egg appears to have no function, but there is a green button on the back. The longer you look at it, the brighter it gets. You get the feeling you can only press this button once... Green Button: Unavailable
King Dedede (first fight): Abandoned Bandanna. Owner: Olivia Opal [AG]. The lost bandanna of Bandanna Dee, presumably discarded when Bandanna Dee was used to summon Kabula. The Abandoned Bandanna may be given to an entity, granting it an additional 5,000 Attack until it dies, at which point the Abandoned Bandanna will become available again. Status: Available
Shaggy: The Sandwich Of Oblivion. Owner: [Name Here] [N]. A sandwich of unfathomable power, made of the finest ingredients one can find in the thousand universes. This sandwich may be fed to an NPC a total of three times across the entire game, with an indeterminate and plot-linked cooldown. Eating the sandwich will cause a major plot disturbance or critical interference. This will not always work out in the favor of the owner. Status: Unavailable, uses left: 2
The Spamtanic: Pipis. Owner: None [AG]. A pipis, inert. Once every 4 turns, you can activate the pipis by selecting a target. It will appear on the battlefield with 20,000 HP, and you may use actions to protect it from attacks. The turn after it is summoned, it will detonate, dealing 50,000 damage to its target. If the target dies, the pipis will instead change its target and detonate on the next turn after that. Cooldown: IIII
Overcharged Mob Spawner: Debug Stick. Owner: Pylog [N]. A stick that seems to break the nearby environment. And yet, it seems to have a much worse effect on living things. Once per five turns. you can destroy an entity you own to deal its max HP as damage to another entity. Cooldown: IIIII
Permanent Upgrades:
Chapter 1: The Great K.A.T.E. A strange red bucket that contains a weather machine. What does K.A.T.E. stand for? Your guess is as good as mine! The Great K.A.T.E. provides many forms of weather information, explaining environmental effects and attack boosts given by the current area. Weather can be changed by a sufficiently creative action and/or the influences of various entities.
Chapter 2: Crossroads of Destiny. A portion of Shaggy's power, specifically dealing in one's "destiny." At an indeterminate time, the Crossroads of Destiny will appear to a player character, giving them a large number of choices for a permanent augmentation that can shake up how they play the game. (Indeterminate time means I'll offer you a crossroads whenever I think I have enough cool ideas for your character.)
